Former Exodus leader repents: I’m gay and married to a woman

Via Just Out:

John Smid, The former leader of Exodus International’s Love in Action ministry, now says that homosexuality is an intrinsic part of a person’s being, not a behavior one can repent from — and admits that he’s never actually met a truly “ex-gay” man.

Smid, who resigned as Executive Director of Love in Action in 2008, posted an essay on the website of his new ministry Grace Rivers explaining that he no longer believes that one can repent of being gay.

Smid also frankly addresses his past with Exodus International, and his coming to peace with his own sexuality:

I used to define homosexuality or heterosexuality in terms describing one’s behavior. I thought it made sense and through the years often wrote articles and talked from that perspective… Today, I understand why the gay community had such an issue with my writings. My perspective denied so many facets of the homosexual experience. I minimized a person’s life to just their sexuality but homosexuality is much more than sex… I would consider myself homosexual and yet in a marriage with a woman. My sexual desires, attractions and lifelong struggle with common factors relating to homosexuality are pretty much all in the classification of homosexual… For many years I tried to fit into the box of heterosexuality. I tried my hardest to create heterosexuality in my life but this also created a lot of shame, a sense of failure, and discouragement. Nothing I did seemed to change me into a heterosexual even though I was in a marriage that included heterosexual behavior. Very often when I am in situations with heterosexual men I clearly see that there are facets of our lives that are distinctively different as it relates to our sexuality, and other things as well.