The Log Cabin fetish

Years ago, in her hit "Sweet Dreams," Annie Lennox opened our eyes to the fact that some among us get off by being used and abused. Since then, S&M has gotten more visible, and even events like San Francisco's Folsom Street Fair have gone relatively mainstream.

Few fetishes are as odd or as kinky, however, as the increasingly visible "Log Cabin fetish" sweeping the nation.

Until recently "Logging," as those in the lifestyle call it, was a discrete affair. Gay men would quietly develop Fox News addictions, sitting for hours in the privacy of their own homes, whispering to O'Reilly and Hannity: "That's right... tell me I'm a BAD BOY!"

Loggers can also be found at GOP gatherings like CPAC, where they shine the shoes of men like Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, or Ann Coulter. But the high holy season of eroticism for Loggers has always been election day, when they could slink off into a voting booth and secretly pleasure politicians who compete to degrade them and their friends.

The recent Chick-fil-A "Anti-Gay Day" offered Loggers a unique opportunity to indulge their fetish. The humiliating scene, standing with hoards of dumpy homophobic bigots in tacky suburban fast food restaurants, gave these guys a real high. They'd watch the mouths spitefully choking down one fried chicken sandwich after another and could hardly contain their excitement.

As more Loggers come out into the light, they're beginning to resent their status on the lowest rung of the LGBT hierarchy. But despite their increased visibility there's little sign they'll be accepted anytime soon.

Their fetish is simply too extreme, even by the standards of San Francisco's notorious Folsom Street Fair, which denied the Loggers a "Chick-fil-A"-themed appreciation booth at the event.* According to those in the S&M community, what made the Log Cabin fetish unacceptable at what is usually such a tolerant event was the issue of consent, the lynchpin of S&M.

You see, an individual may consent to being flogged in public.  But no one is permitted to consent to our entire community being flogged in Congress and the White House for the next two to six years.

"Flogging impacts one willing participant," said an S&M Master. "Logging harms an entire community."
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* Note from John: Since irony is dead online, Log Cabin did not to my knowledge apply for a Chick-fil-A booth at Folsom.  Chris is just ribbing them for being so self-loathing as to endorse Paul Ryan, who is in favor of no gay rights legislation.  If that's not one messed up S&M fetish, I don't know what is.