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Alleged child-beating pastor forgives himself during his sermon

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Family values, anti-gay Pastor Creflo Dollar took to his pulpit to defend himself from charges that he had physically assaulted his 15-year-old daughter, saying that a family conversation had gotten "emotional" and that he "should have never been arrested."

After all, who hasn't been accused by their children of choking and punching them during a heated game of Monopoly?

Creflo managed to convince his World Changers Church International congregation that he was innocent of the charges (even prompting several standing ovations throughout his sermon), saying that he doesn't blame his children for their lies because "Jesus would never put any fault on [him]."

How humble.

Unfortunately for the pastor, the Fayette County Sheriff's Office disagrees with his assertion, confirming that the teenager had superficial injuries to her neck. "He punched me and frightened me and choked me," the girl said in her call to authorities. "It's not the first time it's happened. I feel threatened by being in this house."

Pastor Dollar says the marks on her neck were eczema.

Making this incident all the more despicable are Pastor Dollar's lengthy sermons on appropriate Christian behavior and family values, including a condemnation of gay "sin," where he compares homosexuality to alcoholism and adultery, sins which he claims can be forgiven through Jesus. In another post he calls gay marriage an "untruth," a deceit brought forth by Satan himself.

Did Satan tell your daughters to call the cops on you too, Pastor?

This isn't the first time the pastor has made headlines. In 2007, Senator Chuck Grassley launched an investigation into World Changers Church International, questioning the church's non-profit status after reports that he had spent church money on a $2.5 million mansion, two Rolls-Royces, and a private jet.

He and his church were uncooperative with the investigation, according to the senator. Pastor Dollar continues to deny the allegations, though his last name certainly doesn't help his story in the least.

In a further twist, disgraced Pastor Eddie Long was also named in the suit. Dollar once came to Long's defense after allegations that Long coerced several men into sexual relationships. Long denied the allegations, though he ended up making undisclosed financial settlements to several of the men.

It's what Jesus would have done, after all.

As for Dollar, he is currently free on $5,000 bail while police continue their investigation. This might give the pastor some time to reflect on his actions and his own values. After all, I believe Jesus said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me; for of such is the kingdom of Heaven," not "Make little children suffer."

Though I'm sure they're simply suffering from "eczema."

Follow Gabe on Twitter @TUSK81

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